As shown in the photograph, when the Jacaranda season came this year again, I changed a calendar for my stay in Australia to new one. I have been calling Jacaranda as “Aussie Sakura” which tells the spring of Australia. When this haze of the pale purple colour covers the town, my Australian age gets one year as well.
“Jacaranda street” which I call at near my home
October 1984, I “landed” on Australia when I was 38 years old. Since then almost 30 years have passed. I am now 66. Up to now, each time when I greeted the season of the Jacaranda, I felt a sort of turning point which was a little bit different from that of own birthday. Birthday is periodic, of course, but this “landing anniversary” has come to me every ear in relation to my “adventure” which happened in the course of life halfway at near forty. This is why I have felt specific deep emotion and a weight of human cycle as well.
It was so, but this year is somewhat different from the past years although both are “advancing one notch” at the turning point. How would I put? Until last year, it was only number that added one year, but this year it should be a matter which almost a qualitative change has occuered. Because of this reason, I finally have a feeling of the beginning which I must meet anyhow and this narrative should not be the Fifth Term of “Amphibian Lecture” by simply extending the previous terms further. So, I decided to start a series of narrative: “A Step Into the Old” to try to make one branch although which is a part of the lecture. As the first issue, it is discussed on “Whisper of ‘ Modulation’ “.
Now that it is the “modulation”, this is what the origin is a physical mainly. Of course, there are linked to the psychological mind and body because it connected, but in its root it is modulation of the body. In the past, naturally there was anything like such modulation so called. But they were something which now went downhill after beyond the peak sometime. These are pretty smooth in own way. That was the sense of change “quantitative”.
That is the difference this time. Almost more than two decades, I have been swimming or jogging, and cyclist sometimes, as a daily routine for exercise, And every time almost, I have taken the time of the exercise. If you look at the record, I had its improved, even in such exercises which began at around middle-aged, until beginning around fifty years old. But later, a gentle downward trend has continued anyway. Of course, it is the trend of the average and there is rise and fall of the day.
Those “quantitative changes” have transformed into peculiar ones which ust be called even a “qualitative” since the boundary in the mid of this year. For example, jogging is now at the stage of almost impossible rather than going downhill. The cause is due to dull and strange pain which occur both feet in particular in the left leg thigh. Medically, it is seems like what is referred to as sciatic pain, but in the doctor’s diagnosis of this place, it is known as due to the fact that the result of low back pain, nerve from the spinal cord is stressed. I will not touch about its treatment, anyhow, there is the physical fact that such modulation has finally begun.
In extreme cases, the pain of legs makes affects to walk and have to bear pain. Still, it is not so much degree to stop for rest, but it is certain giving trouble to walk. Fortunately, such pain does not occur on a cycling or swimming, probably both exercises not subjected to foot the weight, for now, I’m just tracing a fall line on time.
In terms of the other, this cannot be numerical measurement, but I am certainly in recession in a delay of speed remembering. This is also gradual change, but it is no doubt that the accumulation of such quantitative matters brings the impact on quality more and more. For example, in the old days, I did have some work of interpretation in my own style, but now, my reaction does not keep up with the speed of conversation.
In medical, there is the term “quality of life” (QL). In other words, a physical disability can influence onto the quality of life. Of course, injury or illness in his youth also affect onto the QL, but the term does not apply to such cases. In other words, it is because it was a temporary symptom. That is, the QL says the failure by chronic conditions. In particular, the OL is used when a variety of failures due to aging made to change the life of day-to-day content of those person,. In short, finally, I also became such a person who is affected by the problem of this QL.
Well, in the medical, a problem of this QL is the perception of loss i.e. matters of losing. That’s it is needless to say that not only recoverable but the attitude that tries to focus on delaying. And, where the idea comes out, is that efforts of anti-aging.
However, I have begun to think with different style. Of course, I will incorporate the idea of anti-aging. But it is a problem we must experience, and, in accordance with the average life, it is a way not avoid in the coming 20 years or so. That’s why I have a thinking not handling it from the angle of just as a loss. That is, it is the attitude taking more positively on the problem itself associated with a gradual loss QL. It is the desire that I would like to get down aggressively the meaning of matters which come happening on the last stage of life. It may be said that I want to listen the “whisper of ‘modulation’” which has occurred on my body in those way, and attempt tiring to take grab something from it.
This time, I mentioned on the grand intention rather than as an introduction. Since the next lecture, I would like to discuss on more concrete ideas and view.
(20 December 2012)